Thursday, May 19, 2016

Hi I'm From Yelp Calling About Your Home Cleaning Norfolk Listing

*post from original blog spring 2015-I'd go look to see if the # has changed but some girl from Yelp is already up my ass with the calls and emails*

I get at least  3 of these calls a month from people supposedly from Yelp wanting to 'help' me with my listing.
Normally I say upfront  Listen I'm booked with a 3 month wait list so. . . and they thank me for my time and hang up.
Except tonight. Maybe it's Mercury in Retrograde or maybe dude was super dumb because he was ready to go toe to toe with me on why I NEED to pay them to something something boost my Yelp listing.
Dude guy trying to tell me I'm on page 15. Bitch no. I'm #24. Not page 24. Number 24.
Then he wants to read me the first 5 people in the Home Cleaning category for Norfolk on Yelp. Since he read them to me I know he searched Housecleaning.
#1-eco-friendly pet friendly team house cleaning. innovative cleaning options. get your deal on.
#2-pressure washing service. not even the right category.
#3-franchise home cleaning service with a bad review.
#4-carpet cleaning service. again wrong category.
#5-already out of business. domain is available. maybe i should buy it. moving on
#6-aaand another carpet cleaning service.
#7-is a house cleaning/remodel/we buy houses/ yeah um ok. i call miscategorized.
#8-yet another carpet cleaner
#9-oh look an actual local same cleaner every time home cleaning service in Norfolk.
#10-senior concierge and errand service.
So basically those 4200 people a month  searching for cleaning services like mine (his words) called #1, maaaaaaybe called #9 or more likely said FUCK THIS after page 1 and typed some specific search terms into yelp.
IF they typed in Green Housecleaning-I'm #15.
IF they are my target clientele, they typed in (keywords I'm not sharing here) where I'm what number? NUMBER ONE.  
Dude from Yelp wasn't trying to hear was me saying to him point blank "the most important thing in business is KNOWING who your target clients are and going after them."
Niche SEO Bitches. I knows it. I uses it.
Your 4200 searches ain't shit to start with-but trust my maybe 10 targeted specific searches a month are people looking for me, myself and I.
This is why I stay booked with great long term cleaning clients.
This is also why I won't pay dude from Yelp a dime to help me do fuck all in the general category of Home Cleaning.
Those are not my clients.