Housecleaning for the Chronically Cluttered Norfolk, Virginia



I have multiple housecleaning clients leaving me for new adventures in far away places. Most of these house cleaning openings have already been filled with fabulous new long term cleaning clients...however...I could be coaxed to take on a biweekly or monthly cleaning client or two.

If you are a hot mess of fail seeking a pet friendly maid / life fixer, I am the only person in the 757 to call. Accept no substitutes.
Incoming and current resident physicians strongly encouraged to inquire. 
#chkd #evms #nmcp #sentara #bonsecours #matchday2019 #residentdr #fellowship

Anyone can come clean of your house but not anyone will:
come on a weekend or afterhours.
genuinely loves pets.
come let your drunk ass in when you've locked yourself out.
overnight fed-ex your phone when you're out of town.
pick you up from the airport at are you serious right now o'clock.
move your cleaning last minute because you forgot you're on a nightfloat / postcall this week...and not charge you for it.
scoop out that nasty litter box because you're literally home only to sleep.
handle your laundry because again...literally home to sleep.

Is your life at this level of WTFICAN'TEVEN?

I got you. MamaB knows your life. I will come fix this fuckery every week. Or every other week. If it's this bad, you really need me cleaning your house every week.




If you're particular about how you prefer your home cleaned-DON'T CALL ME. I'm not the cleaner for you. No really, don't call me if you've been through 5 maids and no one does it how you like. I don't want you as a cleaning client. DO.NOT.WANT. I literally cannot stress this enough. My services are for those who cannot get their shit in one sock to have someone come clean.

If you need to check me out some more *cough cough internet sleuth* before deciding to entrust me with your pets, key and alarm codes-I'm thatgreenmaid on IG, FB, Twitter, Pinterest, LinkedIn, Google+, Reddit and probably a few lesser known social media platforms.



Email: bek@thatgreenmaid.com
Phone/Text: (757) 955.5274

Dealing With Website Design Telemarketers

Last week I get a call about my website. Normally I don't answer random calls but I was bored and waiting on laundry to dry.

Not me: Is this the owner?
Me: This is Rebecca. (protip: never say yes, ok, correct or affirmative-it could be a scam trying to get your voice authorization)
Not me: blah blah website blah blah blah package blah blah google (no really I couldn't understand him)
Me: Wait what about my website?
Not me: Oh you have a website?
Me: If you'da done your research before calling me, you'd know this.
Not me: (not missing a beat) Well, we can redesign your website to bring you more customers and...
Me: *cuts him off* I'm not even taking new clients. Picking a new background for my website isn't going to change that.
Not me: You can go to our website and see our designs and pick one to bring you new clients.
Me: So wait, you're calling me on the phone to tell me to go to your website? WHO DOES THAT? Did you not just hear me when I said I'm not taking new clients.
Not me: So you don't want more clients for your business?
Me: Nope. I do not want more clients for my business.
Not me: *click*

I have sympathy for telemarketers. It's a hard hustle. What I don't have is patience for quasi-scam artists trying to take advantage of not internet savvy small business owners.
A new background template for your website isn't going to bring new customers. It's all in the keywords, SEO, relevant up to date content and good use of social media. New background...get out. #searchengineoptimization #longtailkeywords #properuseofhashtags #knowyouraudience

/rant

Why Don't You Just Expand Your Cleaning Service and Hire Employees?

My house cleaning services been mostly booked with a long wait-list for years.

Yesterday I'm pulling up to a cleaning client's house and their neighbor asks me for a business card. As I'm handing it to her, I give her the 'listen, I'm booked solid with a very long wait list and it might be a minute'.

and she's so very nice and I reaaaaalllly wanna take her on as a client but I truly do not have a space open.  MamaB needs time to clean her own filthy ass hovel.

This very nice lady says to me-why don't you just expand your cleaning service and hire employees? It's a question I've been asked a lot in the past few years.

So...here's why I don't hire people.

1. I can coax an employee to show up but I cannot make them care about my client's cleaning needs. At the end of the day, if a client is unhappy with their cleaning it's on me and me alone. My name is all I have. I'm not gonna rely on someone else to make or break my hard-earned good reputation in the name of a dollar.

2. Hiring employees means higher overhead. Quality employees deserve quality wages and I don't mean $10 hour. I'm not getting out of bed for that and I'd never ask anyone to clean for that. Employees mean setting up a different ownership structure, payroll and different insurance and more cleaning supplies...oh and having to actually rent a commercial space for said employees-because running a cleaning service out of your house is a nope.
I've worked for people who have run a cleaning business out of their house and I know firsthand what kind of shit comes with that. nuhuh. It's a hard pass for me.

3. I'd have to tell 75% of my current cleaning clients that certain services are no longer offered because of "liability issues" and "bio-hazards". I legally cannot require an employee to pick up animal waste on the floor or soiled diapers that have been mislaid. I'd have to tell clients their pets have to be crated or behind a door. Laundry service? Yeah there'd be no more of that.

4. People. Just no. I can't. I don't want to. The first time I'm hearing some excuses on a Friday about why they can't/won't gonna leave me hanging with 3 houses to clean Imma have to refrain from saying some shit that will get me sued. I don't wanna have to watch employees and wonder if they are trustworthy or will they break something or say some shit to insult my clients or...yeah just no. I don't like people enough to put up with that level of nope.

I'm happy working 6-7 days a week. I'm happy with petting all the dogs, scooping up cat shit and fixing fuckery.
This type of housecleaning isn't for everyone. I'm not the maid for everyone and that's ok.



Pet Friendly Green Housecleaning Lady in Norfolk, Virginia

About me:
Professional, dependable ridiculously pet friendly green cleaning lady in Norfolk, Va.
Specializing in green cleaning services of houses, apartments and condos.
Over 20 years experience in residential housecleaning.
Fabulous verifiable residential housekeeping references.

I specialize in disorder, disarray and utter chaos.
If you just can't seem to get your home "ready" for the cleaning lady or other cleaning services have turned you away for being a hot mess of fail-I'm THE maid to call.


Check out my recommendations on LinkedIn




Clean Up Your Mailbox Opt Out

If you're like me, you get waaaaaaaaay more spam emails, mail offers, catalogs from places you ordered from once 5 years ago, phone calls.


My mailcarrier loves me and here's 2 reasons why.
DMAChoice.org
From their website:
Founded in 1917, the DMA represents nearly 3,600 organizations—including most of the leaders in the direct marketing community.
Heads up-opting out of DMAChoice is not free. It's $2 online and requires a credit card.

OptOutPreScreen.com
From their website:
Under the Fair Credit Reporting Act (FCRA), the Consumer Credit Reporting Companies are permitted to include your name on lists used by creditors or insurers to make firm offers of credit or insurance that are not initiated by you ("Firm Offers"). The FCRA also provides you the right to "Opt-Out", which prevents Consumer Credit Reporting Companies from providing your credit file information for Firm Offers.

Opting out is free, takes less than 5 minutes of your time and is good for 5 years. It will ask you for your SSN. If you're getting pre-approved credit card offers, those places already have access to your credit report. #optout

One of the largest online data brokers is Acxiom. They have a lot of personal info about me, you and probably everyone we know.
It's super easy to opt out of having that data about you shared with other marketers.
Acxiom Opt Out
It will ask for any current and former names. (helpful if you still get stuff under multiple names)
It will ask phone numbers, emails and addresses, including PO Boxes that you use.

Doing this today probably isn't going to stop the onslaught of holiday catalogs and offers-because those are already printed and sitting somewhere waiting for the mail date. Also-it takes 90 days for some of the businesses to get the updated mail list.


Unwanted phone calls. I don't get nearly as many since I put myself on the free National Do Not Call Registry
I'm not gonna say I don't get any because scammers gonna scam. Every year, I verify my number is still in the registry.

Protip: when you sign up for store rewards cards, do not give your telephone number. I don't care what the clerk tells you about oh they don't sell your info. Nope-you can have these 10 digits of my choosing.
Past getting a discount for giving up your info, you don't realllly know what exactly you're agreeing to. If you have a relationship with a business, they or their parent/subsidiary can call until you tell them in writing to stop. Ditto for signing up for random things that ask for your number.


The downside to cleaning out my various mailboxes is less mail to throw out, my phone's not ringing off the hook with nonsense. Yeah not seeing this downside.







Housecleaning Services for Resident Physicians Norfolk, Virginia



I have precious few slots open for some one-time pre-holiday cleaning or dependable monthly cleaning clients in Norfolk and the Wesleyan / Shore Drive side of Virginia Beach.

Let's talk.

Before you get an excite: I do not take on complete cleans of larger homes.
You are better served by a team cleaning service than an independent maid.
Trust me. No I don't have a recommendation.


Dearest Interns, Resident, Attending, Chiefs of Staff and Fellowship Doctors.
Hey. Hi. You need me. My last FIVE peds Interns have or will be Chiefs. Why?
Because driven Doctors are not fucking around with mundane things like laundry, trash, dishes and vacuuming. Come see why I've been called a necessity in Norfolk.
#nightfloat #24hourcall #usmle #medlife #matchday2019 #evms #nmcp #chkd


Me: Ridiculously pet friendly dependable green cleaning lady in Norfolk, Virginia. Excellent Verifiable references.
I don't hire or contract other cleaners. Same person every time.

Cyber-sleuth me on these sites:

LinkedIn
Twitter
Facebook
Instagram

Contact:
Email: bek@thatgreenmaid.com
Phone: 757.955.5274

Storm Supply Checklist

It's that time of year-when outside turns wet and windy aka Hurricane and Nor'Easter Season.

While everyone else is all OMG FRENCH TOAST EMERGENCY-here's a real list of things you probably should have on hand.

1- a well stocked first aid kit.
2- 30 days worth of RX meds.
3- pet food.
4- bleach-this is one of those times where nothing else will do.
5- disinfectant spray/wipes. I recommend Seventh Generation.
6- hand sanitizer.
7- tarps.
8- multiple sets of dish gloves.
9- batteries.
10- flashlights/twinkle lights.
11- transistor radio.
12- mops and rags.
13- trash bags.
14- gallon zip top bags.
15- mosquito repellent.

A good read on Basic Survival Sanitation can be found here: http://www.quickstartsurvival.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/SWAT_aug17_Sanitation.pdf

Nothing motivates me to bring in the yard furniture like an impending storm. Them plastic chairs can do some damage.
Norfolk floods in a hot second of rain. Don't drive through the flood water. Be safe out there.