Showing posts with label new clients. Show all posts
Showing posts with label new clients. Show all posts

Saturday

Housecleaning for the Chronically Cluttered Norfolk, Virginia

Accepting New Clients Mid JULY 2021

I have multiple housecleaning clients leaving me for new adventures in far away places. I will have openings in Norfolk, Va for housecleaning starting July 2021. If you have verbal orders or are trying to #matchday2020 here-let's talk. Soon.

If you are a hot mess of fail seeking a pet friendly maid / life fixer, I am the only person in the 757 to call. Accept no substitutes.
Incoming and current resident physicians strongly encouraged to inquire. 
#chkd #evms #nmcp #sentara #bonsecours #matchday2021 #residentdr #fellowship

Anyone can come clean your house but not anyone will:
come on a weekend or after hours.
come let you in when you've locked yourself out.
overnight fed-ex your phone when you're out of town.
pick you up from the airport at are you serious right now o'clock.
move your cleaning last minute because you forgot you're on a nightfloat / postcall this week...and not charge you for it.
scoop out that nasty litter box because you're literally home only to sleep.
handle your laundry because again...literally home to sleep.

Is your life at this level of WTFICAN'TEVEN?

I got you. MamaB knows your life. I will come fix this fuckery every week. Or every other week. If it's this bad, you really need me cleaning your house every week.




Listen-If you're particular about how you prefer your home cleaned-DON'T CALL ME. I'm not the cleaner for you. No really, don't call me. If you've been through multiple maids and no one does it how you like-I don't want you as a cleaning client. DO.NOT.WANT. I literally cannot stress this enough. I cater to super busy professionals who just can't even when it comes to housework type adulting. You will be unhappy. I will be unhappy. No one wants that. There is a housecleaner out there that caters to your particular brand of persnickety---it just isn't me.

If you need to check me out some more *cough cough internet sleuth* before deciding to entrust me with your pets, key and alarm codes-I'm thatgreenmaid on Instagram, FaceBook, Twitter, Pinterest, LinkedIn, Reddit. Trust and believe I am who I am online and off.



Email: bek@thatgreenmaid.com
Phone/Text: (757) 955.5274

Thursday

Dealing With Website Design Telemarketers

Last week I get a call about my website. Normally I don't answer random calls but I was bored and waiting on laundry to dry.

Not me: Is this the owner?
Me: This is Rebecca. (protip: never say yes, ok, correct or affirmative-it could be a scam trying to get your voice authorization)
Not me: blah blah website blah blah blah package blah blah google (no really I couldn't understand him)
Me: Wait what about my website?
Not me: Oh you have a website?
Me: If you'da done your research before calling me, you'd know this.
Not me: (not missing a beat) Well, we can redesign your website to bring you more customers and...
Me: *cuts him off* I'm not even taking new clients. Picking a new background for my website isn't going to change that.
Not me: You can go to our website and see our designs and pick one to bring you new clients.
Me: So wait, you're calling me on the phone to tell me to go to your website? WHO DOES THAT? Did you not just hear me when I said I'm not taking new clients.
Not me: So you don't want more clients for your business?
Me: Nope. I do not want more clients for my business.
Not me: *click*

I have sympathy for telemarketers. It's a hard hustle. What I don't have is patience for quasi-scam artists trying to take advantage of not internet savvy small business owners.
A new background template for your website isn't going to bring new customers. It's all in the keywords, SEO, relevant up to date content and good use of social media. New background...get out. #searchengineoptimization #longtailkeywords #properuseofhashtags #knowyouraudience

/rant

Monday

Why Don't You Just Expand Your Cleaning Service and Hire Employees?

My house cleaning services been mostly booked with a long wait-list for years.

Yesterday I'm pulling up to a cleaning client's house and their neighbor asks me for a business card. As I'm handing it to her, I give her the 'listen, I'm booked solid with a very long wait list and it might be a minute'.

and she's so very nice and I reaaaaalllly wanna take her on as a client but I truly do not have a space open.  MamaB needs time to clean her own filthy ass hovel.

This very nice lady says to me-why don't you just expand your cleaning service and hire employees? It's a question I've been asked a lot in the past few years.

So...here's why I don't hire people.

1. I can coax an employee to show up but I cannot make them care about my client's cleaning needs. At the end of the day, if a client is unhappy with their cleaning it's on me and me alone. My name is all I have. I'm not gonna rely on someone else to make or break my hard-earned good reputation in the name of a dollar.

2. Hiring employees means higher overhead. Quality employees deserve quality wages and I don't mean $10 hour. I'm not getting out of bed for that and I'd never ask anyone to clean for that. Employees mean setting up a different ownership structure, payroll and different insurance and more cleaning supplies...oh and having to actually rent a commercial space for said employees-because running a cleaning service out of your house is a nope.
I've worked for people who have run a cleaning business out of their house and I know firsthand what kind of shit comes with that. nuhuh. It's a hard pass for me.

3. I'd have to tell 75% of my current cleaning clients that certain services are no longer offered because of "liability issues" and "bio-hazards". I legally cannot require an employee to pick up animal waste on the floor or soiled diapers that have been mislaid. I'd have to tell clients their pets have to be crated or behind a door. Laundry service? Yeah there'd be no more of that.

4. People. Just no. I can't. I don't want to. The first time I'm hearing some excuses on a Friday about why they can't/won't gonna leave me hanging with 3 houses to clean Imma have to refrain from saying some shit that will get me sued. I don't wanna have to watch employees and wonder if they are trustworthy or will they break something or say some shit to insult my clients or...yeah just no. I don't like people enough to put up with that level of nope.

I'm happy working 6-7 days a week. I'm happy with petting all the dogs, scooping up cat shit and fixing fuckery.
This type of housecleaning isn't for everyone. I'm not the maid for everyone and that's ok.



Saturday

Pet Friendly Green Housecleaning Lady in Norfolk, Virginia

About me:
Professional, dependable ridiculously pet friendly green cleaning lady in Norfolk, Va.
Specializing in green cleaning services of houses, apartments and condos.
Over 20 years experience in residential housecleaning.
Fabulous verifiable residential housekeeping references.

I specialize in disorder, disarray and utter chaos.
If you just can't seem to get your home "ready" for the cleaning lady or other cleaning services have turned you away for being a hot mess of fail-I'm THE maid to call.


Check out my recommendations on LinkedIn




Sunday

Housecleaning Services for Resident Physicians Norfolk, Virginia



I have precious few slots open for some one-time pre-holiday cleaning or dependable monthly cleaning clients in Norfolk and the Wesleyan / Shore Drive side of Virginia Beach.

Let's talk.

Before you get an excite: I do not take on complete cleans of larger homes.
You are better served by a team cleaning service than an independent maid.
Trust me. No I don't have a recommendation.


Dearest Interns, Resident, Attending, Chiefs of Staff and Fellowship Doctors.
Hey. Hi. You need me. My last FIVE peds Interns have or will be Chiefs. Why?
Because driven Doctors are not fucking around with mundane things like laundry, trash, dishes and vacuuming. Come see why I've been called a necessity in Norfolk.
#nightfloat #24hourcall #usmle #medlife #matchday2019 #evms #nmcp #chkd


Me: Ridiculously pet friendly dependable green cleaning lady in Norfolk, Virginia. Excellent Verifiable references.
I don't hire or contract other cleaners. Same person every time.

Cyber-sleuth me on these sites:

LinkedIn
Twitter
Facebook
Instagram

Contact:
Email: bek@thatgreenmaid.com
Phone: 757.955.5274

Pet Friendly Green Cleaning Lady for Habitually Disorganized Professionals in Norfolk, Virginia

Is this you? Are you a hot fucking mess of fail when it comes to keeping your house straight?
Do you just buy new socks and underwear because laundry is hard?
Is cleaning just beyond your time and skill set? Is throwing money at it your #1 problem solving move?
I am THE magic fairy of fail and fuckery in the 757-accept no substitutes.
I can't fix your dating life, your job or your cray family drama---but I can fix this bullshit here.
Throw your dollars at me.
Come home to clean sheets, clean laundry, clean toilets, clean counters, clean microwave, clean floors.
Come home to OMG someone fixed my shit.

Selectively accepting new clients living in squalor and utter fail in Norfolk, Virginia.
Please no hoarding situations or larger homes.


#housecleaning #petfriendly #cleanallthethings #thatgreenmaid #evms #pnmc #sentara #bonsecours #residency #matchday #intern #futuredr

email: bek@thatgreenmaid.com
Facebook: thatgreenmaid
Twitter: thatgreenmaid
Instagram: thatgreenmaid
Pinterest: thatgreenmaid

Thursday

Housecleaner Norfolk Va Pet Friendly Green Cleaner December 2016 Schedule

I should not even get people riled up...because MamaB has nothing open in December 2016 for new cleaning clients in Norfolk, Virginia.

*double checks*
Nope. Nothing. For the 9th year running, I have the absolute best clients that ensure every single open spot in December is booked.
A girl cannot ask for better.

No-I don't know anyone that currently cleans houses. I don't know if XYZ is reputable.
I can tell you this-if a cleaning company is offering a rock bottom deal in December for holiday cleaning-RUN. Why would anyone need to do that? There is not a shortage of clients seeking house cleaning services in Norfolk, Virginia.
#freeadvice

Thank you for a wonderful 2016.
Feb/Mar 2017 is when I expect to have openings for busy professionals (looking at you EVMS residents) seeking an independent, pet friendly, green cleaner.

Saturday

Quality Cleaning Over Quantity

They say cheap things attract many buyers-which is the number one reason my cleaning services are not cheap.
I'm all about a good deal but my bargain basement mentality is limited to bargain basement type places.
I don't do discounts or groupon or run specials. I don't want that business---because 9 times out of 10 it isn't business.
It's one person that isn't coming back or referring me to others. It is me working for less than I'm worth for someone who flat out doesn't care and won't hesitate to complain over something petty like not wiping a light switch.*dead serious*
Does that make me uppity?


This maid is not going to offer up some $99 special to stand in a house in a sketchass neighborhood and listen to a litany of random complaints about nothing and everything about some other maid service from a person trying to get me to stay 10 hours and play Cinderella. No thanks. Been there and done that. It sucked in my 20s. I'm sure it still sucks in my 40s. /runonsetence

I am blessed with a full client load of utterly fabulous and amazing people. Wait-AMAZING people. No...hold on...

UTTERLY FABULOUS AMAZING PEOPLE

I'm only interested in cleaning for equally utterly fabulous amazing people seeking pet friendly green housecleaning in Norfolk, Va. #seewhatididthere


If you want the cheapest cleaning service out there-you can find it all day long in the 757. There is no shortage of here today gone tomorrow housecleaners.
I'm sure you can talk them straight down to $75 to do a move out clean your entire house.
I bet they can even come clean your home tomorrow.

If you want someone that offers up a quality house cleaning-you might have to search a little bit and hope they have an opening in the near-ish future for you.

'The quality is remembered long after the price is forgotten.' ~Sir Henry Royce

Housecleaning for the Chronically Cluttered Norfolk, Virginia

Accepting New Clients Mid JULY 2021 I have multiple housecleaning clients leaving me for new adventures in far away places. I will have op...